A RECAP ON MY 20TH YEAR OF LIFE

To end my last night as a 20 year old, I thought it'd be nice to skim through my journals and write out a few key takeaways that have helped me through these last 365 days. 

1. Conquering fear is not a one time event, but an everyday battle. Keep praying, keep fighting, and don't shrink back.
2. Who you are is just as important as what you do
3. If God changes your heart, be willing to change your plans 
4. The key to gaining peace from God is full surrender. Letting go of your want to control, and trusting God completely. You may not see the importance of why things are happening, but God wants to see that you trust Him. Instead of holding on to your fear, doubt and insecurities, surrender. 
5. "Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives." Francis Chan
6. It doesn't matter what you did, but what you're doing. Stop looking at your progress as a reason to take a break. 
7. Don't shrink back. Do it afraid. 
8. If it pulls you away from God, then it needs to go
9. Spiritual awareness is important 
10. Never get to a place where you start to take on a prideful attitude. Always remember that the wisdom you have comes from God. It's Him not you. 
11. Many people have the capacity to be great, but lack the courage
12. The best way to remain humble is to never get impressed with yourself. 
13. In order for God to show Himself strong in your life, you have to trust Him with a first step
14. The only way to fix a problem is to face it.
15. Fear is to satan what faith is to God
16. When you point the finger at others, there are always 3 fingers pointing back at you
17. Motivation gets you going...discipline keeps you growing
18. Nothing ever goes away until it teaches you what you need to know 
19. God is not concerned with what you can do. He just wants you to be open so that He live through you (ayeeeee..that rhymes). 
20.  Whatever you don't feed will die
21. Stop micromanaging the seeds that God gave you to plant in people. Trust and allow Him to make them grow
22. Keep your motives in check
23. Begin with the end in mind
24. It's not about what you can get, but what you can give
25. Follow God even when you can't see the whole picture 
26. If you operate out of will power, you will eventually run out of power, but if you operate out of God's power, you'll overcome
27. Success is not based on outcome, but on obedience to God

As I sit and reflect on my last night of being at the halfway point of 40, I realize that things have changed drastically in the last 365 days. Rewind back to a year ago, and I would’ve never imagined myself to be at the place that I am now. If I had to select one thing that I’m taking away from my 20^th year of life, it would be to Trust God. Simple and cliche, I know, but this year has has taught me a lot of different things that relate back to that statement. Cheers to reaching the halfway point of 42. I can't wait to see the next steps of where God is taking me. 

FINISH THE RACE

Wow, it's been a while since I've posted anything, but Happy New Year!! Life is good, and I'm happy to be alive. I apologize for not posting during these last few weeks, but I'm coming out of a 21 day fast, and I stepped away for a while. It was time to recharge, and really listen for God's voice to gain clarity on some things in my life, and I did. This was my first time ACTUALLY fasting and giving up foods that have a special place in my heart for more than a day. I'm a BIG fan, well actually I might be addicted to Qdoba's three cheese vegetarian nachos, along with pizza, and for 21 days, I told myself no in order to get closer to God. I cut out meat (this wasn't hard because I'm a pescetarian), dairy, sweets, bread, fried foods and pasta. Also, I didn't eat until 3 pm each day. Somedays I just ate this homemade organic peanut butter stuff, cashews, fruit, and Oats & Honey KIND bars (these are the bomb.com...see picture). They're gluten free, and are also made with NON-GMO Ingredients. Yay for food that isn't toxic!! You can find them at Kroger.

MMMHHMMM SO GOOD.

 As I reflect during these last few days of this fast, there were a lot of questions that I asked God, along with a lot of things that He showed me. It's so great to be intentional and really make an effort to put aside distractions like social media and tv; open up your bible more, pray more, and sit and listen for God's voice. I got a chance to reflect and ask God to help me get down to root of who I am, along with show me the good, the bad and the ugly that I might not be able to see within myself. 

On the fourth day of my journey, a famous quote popped into my mind after I caved and ate a family sized bag of kettle corn in one sitting...

 "It's not how you start that matters, but how you finish." 

 While I don't believe this applies to everything, I really believe it applies to life. Many people have the idea engraved into their minds that their life is like a 100m dash. If you start poorly in this race, you really don't have time to redeem yourself (unless you're Usain Bolt), and your bad start really weighs heavily on how you finish. 

But life isn't like this at all. Especially when you find Jesus. 

I can laugh at it now, but I felt horrible after I ate that popcorn. Just like we should feel when we sin. But I didn't allow that to trigger more bad behavior. I recognized that I messed up, I repented, and then I finished the journey. I didn't sit there and wallow in the fact that I had made a mistake, but I shifted to what the other 17 days were going to look like. I created goals, and went from there. Yes, you may make mistakes in life, but who doesn't? Get out of the mindset that your life is a 100m dash. We all fall short of God's standard along with the different goals we set for ourselves, but when you mess up, don't lie there and meditate on your mistakes. Get up and finish. If a person trips on the track during a 3200m run on their first lap, they still have 7 more laps to redeem themselves. If they focus on that fall for the rest of the race and allow defeat to creep into their mind, they won't do well. On the other hand, if they focus on getting back up and doing everything they can to recover lost time, they just might do it. So many times we fall down on the track of life and feel defeated. Instead of getting back up, we lie there allowing others to trample over us as they run by. 

 Philippians 4:8 says:

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. 

Notice the scripture doesn't say "if there be any failure, and if there be any mistakes, think on these things," because focusing on our failure will never help us move forward. Once you recognize your slip up, it's important to take action right away. If you've come out of an old habit, or set a goal for yourself, it's necessary to evaluate your behavior and ask yourself if it's pushing you closer to where you want to be. One of my goals for 2014 is to become more disciplined. To get up and do my homework when I have the energy instead of waiting until the last minute when I'm burnt out. Each morning, I do my best to write out a list of goals for myself. Before I go to sleep, I reflect and write down the good things along with the bad. If you don't hold yourself accountable, who will? Goals don't accomplish themselves.

Your mess ups, along with failures, can be a hard thing to deal with, but understand that it's apart of your growing process. Understand that there are people waiting on you to get back up and ask God to help you make a change for the better. No, it won't be instant, and yes, you'll make mistakes, but small steps are better than no steps. Failure is better than not trying at all, and God wants to use all of your mess to help someone else. So when you fall down on this track of life, make sure you don't lie there for too long. Look to God and dwell on the fact that He forgives, and while you may feel unworthy, He still wants to love you with an unconditional love no matter how many times you find yourself coming up short.